An atheist perspective of grieving
My sister Christina has brain cancer, recently she had a major seizure and was promptly rushed to the hospital. The doctors diagnosed cancer cells went to all areas of her brain. Now we all must except the reality of her death sooner than we'd like. Christina is surrounded by many friends and family, the community during these final days is breathtaking. She is loved and will be missed greatly. Her smile lights up the room, her quirky sense of humor hasn't changed and she seems more peaceful than everyone else.
A struggle she is going through beyond her cancer is..."How can I share my heart and Jesus with my unbelieving family and friends." This is an incredible burden, many prayers are directed toward the salvation of the unbelieving friends and family. Another struggle is the question whether God will heal her. My sister doesn't expect healing but others feel God will or can heal her.
One evening was particularly uncomfortable. Many among the community have fundamental/charismatic view in which they filter cancer and suffering. During a "healing prayer service" held at my sister's house, I heard pleas to God for healing. Phrases thrown out were,
"It's selfish of me to ask, but Lord in your goodness; would you please heal Christina."
"Lord, we don't know your sovereign will; but are desire is for NEW LIFE! You are the God of life! We have the same resurrection spirit! So raise up in Christina a new life a healing..."
A 95 year-old man anointed her with oil and also asked for her healing. His seemingly wise words of comfort and her eventual healing gave many comfort and others a sense of discomfort. I say discomfort in the fact some other Christians have a more realistic view of what is happening. They just seek comfort that God has some grand plan in all of this. However I look at it, one thing I cannot reconcile the omnipotent and omnibenevolent nature that Christians claim of God. If anyone can point me to a study showing God shows favor and healing, I'd love to see it.
God filter. Every single thing, whether a small happen-chance, tragedy, opportunity...whatever it is; it's first put through the filter of "God is sovereign, and his plan is good." I find peace knowing that shit happens. It sucks, the universe doesn't take sides; horrible corrupt people can live a very long time, while super-sweet new mothers like my sister will be taken away. If I believed in God, I'd be forced to believe His will is true and good and I'd be wrestling with that the rest of my life. Since my deconversion, personal peace comes easier, I don't have to process God's will. I accept them for what they are.
Personally, during this time my emotions are stable. I am going to miss Christina dearly. I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful memories of my sister, our growing up years, the inside joke and our own "brother and sister language."
"It's selfish of me to ask, but Lord in your goodness; would you please heal Christina."
"Lord, we don't know your sovereign will; but are desire is for NEW LIFE! You are the God of life! We have the same resurrection spirit! So raise up in Christina a new life a healing..."
A 95 year-old man anointed her with oil and also asked for her healing. His seemingly wise words of comfort and her eventual healing gave many comfort and others a sense of discomfort. I say discomfort in the fact some other Christians have a more realistic view of what is happening. They just seek comfort that God has some grand plan in all of this. However I look at it, one thing I cannot reconcile the omnipotent and omnibenevolent nature that Christians claim of God. If anyone can point me to a study showing God shows favor and healing, I'd love to see it.
God filter. Every single thing, whether a small happen-chance, tragedy, opportunity...whatever it is; it's first put through the filter of "God is sovereign, and his plan is good." I find peace knowing that shit happens. It sucks, the universe doesn't take sides; horrible corrupt people can live a very long time, while super-sweet new mothers like my sister will be taken away. If I believed in God, I'd be forced to believe His will is true and good and I'd be wrestling with that the rest of my life. Since my deconversion, personal peace comes easier, I don't have to process God's will. I accept them for what they are.
Personally, during this time my emotions are stable. I am going to miss Christina dearly. I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful memories of my sister, our growing up years, the inside joke and our own "brother and sister language."
On judging others...
Often times Christians tell each other, "Thank you for not judging me." I'm aware of the contradictory verses scattered throughout Scripture.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you."
Matthew 7:1-6 ESV
"The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one."
1 Corinthians 2:15 ESV
The other verses repeat the same two ideas, "Judge not, lest you be judged," and "The spiritual one can judge, and he shouldn't be judged back."
The problem lies in the question, "What is being spiritual?" I personally see thousands of denominations of Christianity all toting their version of what being spiritual is. Do we exclude great people of other faiths because they do not match our tiny box of what we deem as spiritual? How arrogant of us to really decide what is spiritual and not. The bible has been used to commit atrocities throughout the ages, yet many believed they were doing what a "spiritually discerning" man should do.
In light of this I can pick and choose what I believe in the bible, but in reality my morality lies in "rational ought." This means I weigh the decisions I make with what the consequences of that decision may be. There is no such thing as "moral oughts."
The bible mentions morality, but even in the Christian worldview the individual still uses a "rational" view to actualize their morals.
So yes, I judge others; not as to condemn what they've done or what belief or unbelief they ascribe but in how they conduct their lives. If they aren't infringing on the happiness of others, I do not press my opinions upon them. If they ask me my opinions, I will try to be careful of their heart if they really want to hear what I want to say.
This is is the conundrum: Do I tell people my opinion of how they should view the world if I truly believe that is best? My answer: Only if they really want to hear it. Otherwise, live how you see fit and enjoy life to the fullest.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.
Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you."
Matthew 7:1-6 ESV
"The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one."
1 Corinthians 2:15 ESV
The other verses repeat the same two ideas, "Judge not, lest you be judged," and "The spiritual one can judge, and he shouldn't be judged back."
The problem lies in the question, "What is being spiritual?" I personally see thousands of denominations of Christianity all toting their version of what being spiritual is. Do we exclude great people of other faiths because they do not match our tiny box of what we deem as spiritual? How arrogant of us to really decide what is spiritual and not. The bible has been used to commit atrocities throughout the ages, yet many believed they were doing what a "spiritually discerning" man should do.
In light of this I can pick and choose what I believe in the bible, but in reality my morality lies in "rational ought." This means I weigh the decisions I make with what the consequences of that decision may be. There is no such thing as "moral oughts."
The bible mentions morality, but even in the Christian worldview the individual still uses a "rational" view to actualize their morals.
So yes, I judge others; not as to condemn what they've done or what belief or unbelief they ascribe but in how they conduct their lives. If they aren't infringing on the happiness of others, I do not press my opinions upon them. If they ask me my opinions, I will try to be careful of their heart if they really want to hear what I want to say.
This is is the conundrum: Do I tell people my opinion of how they should view the world if I truly believe that is best? My answer: Only if they really want to hear it. Otherwise, live how you see fit and enjoy life to the fullest.
My little Riddle
- Without possessions I arrive and without possessions I die. Twelve times one time times 8 maybe all I carry to the thereafter.
- When the clock strikes twelve and the second hand acknowledges 7+2+2+1 also equals twelve all becomes the circle, the circle of new beginnings.Answer this riddle and may you be born anew!
Cute animal video
You asked for it! Here is 2 little dogs howling to a harmonica.
Sunday Prayer
God,
Should I feel guilty? This is my last prayer to you in a while. My life has been riddled with guilt, I blame that on Christianity. We are supposed to feel guilt, so we can ask forgiveness. I cannot live in that bondage, and I cannot see Christ as the redeemer. It is free to live as I am meant to be.
Your Human
Should I feel guilty? This is my last prayer to you in a while. My life has been riddled with guilt, I blame that on Christianity. We are supposed to feel guilt, so we can ask forgiveness. I cannot live in that bondage, and I cannot see Christ as the redeemer. It is free to live as I am meant to be.
Your Human
Saturday Prayer
God,
Another day another child starves. No this isn't being negative but understanding reality. According to many of your followers this is the result of original sin. Not only will they suffer here on earth, but for eternity. I'm not mad and am not seeking how to reconcile your nature. I notice too many inconsistencies to call you the same yesterday, today and forever. I will continue living for today for tomorrow has too many worries of it's own.
Your Human
Another day another child starves. No this isn't being negative but understanding reality. According to many of your followers this is the result of original sin. Not only will they suffer here on earth, but for eternity. I'm not mad and am not seeking how to reconcile your nature. I notice too many inconsistencies to call you the same yesterday, today and forever. I will continue living for today for tomorrow has too many worries of it's own.
Your Human
Friday Prayer
God,
It's been a beautiful day and I've been neglecting my prayer assignment this week. I've been at peace mountain biking in the woods, I've found comfort in playing some music. It's fun making new friends and finding ways to bless them. Living for the moment and blessing others is something I love to do. If you are out there and filling people with peace, why do I find more peace without you? Then again....maybe I am misinterpreting your voice. :)
Your Human