Trail Blazer Ministries
Base Camp for Life: A Spiritual Journey...

Letter to a Christian family member.

Dear Sister,
Thank you for loving me despite my unbelief, my divorce and my emotional roller coaster.
You know those "emos?" I understand why they have the stereotype of wanting to "just crawl in a hole and die." They think they will save others from pain. Don't worry--even though I understand them, doesn't mean I think that extreme. :)
You mentioned that it's easy to stop lying....well, I'm doing my best lately. Even if it means admitting I have unbelief or understand I cannot love my wife like she deserves. Admitting the truth, searching the truth can hurt, maybe that is why I'm experiencing all the pain right now.
I know things will be better, they already are. I want to grow as a person who is respectable and trustworthy.
About our little text message conversation. I'm concerned about how my relationship with our family will be affected since I've walked away. First, here is what I experienced as I remember my childhood: I would stay awake worrying about our extended family and their eternal soul.
"Grandma is not a strong enough believer."
"Grandpa was afraid to die, yes he he denied Jesus but we don't know his last thoughts."
I gave up belief in hell a while ago, because it was easy to dismiss, even through Scripture. I also couldn't function emotionally if I knew 95+% of the world was going to be tormented forever.
I know dad worries about that doctrine, and I'm worried he will worry about my soul and that get's me worrying. I also wanted to use every variation of "worry" I could think of. :)
Now, I know every good thing is selfish unless the glory is given to God. (according to Christianity) I'm worried this will effect our relationship. I remember believing our extended family and fried's accomplishments or good deeds were just their "selfishness" clothed in "good works." I'm afraid I'll be viewed the same.
I just wanted to be honest with you, and I'm the same brother you've always known. You are right, time to stop the lying cycle.


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